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"She looked at me for a long time and then pulled an old envelope out of the trash and drew a pear on it.
'This is how your body is shaped. See? Teeny tiny on top and not so tiny on the bottom.'
Then she explained the illusion created by wearing dark colors on the bottom and bright colors on top. When I see other women with this color combination I check to see if they’re a pear too and they always are—two pears can’t fool each other. Below her drawing she wrote the phone number of someone she thought was more right for me than Phillip—a divorced alcoholic father named Mark Kwon."

—The First Bad Man, page 5

Packaged with excerpt; authenticity verified with Miranda July’s signature.