KEY WITH A PLASTIC DUCK ON IT
KEY WITH A PLASTIC DUCK ON IT
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$162.50
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"'I need to use the restroom,' I said finally, just to break the silence.
'Oh dear. You really have to go?'
I nodded.

'Okay. You have two options. There’s a key in the waiting
room with a plastic duck on it. You can take that key and go to the bathroom on the ninth floor, which unfortunately you can only get to by taking the elevator down to the lobby and asking the doorman to use his key to unlock the service elevator. This option usually takes about fifteen minutes in total. Alternately, if you look behind that paper screen you’ll see a stack of Chinese takeout containers. You can go in one of these, behind the screen, and take it with you when you leave."

—The First Bad Man, page 63

Packaged with excerpt; authenticity verified with Miranda July’s signature.